GEORGE LUCAS IS MY CRACK DEALER

Today is the day that George Lucas got the better of me, for today is the day that I bought yet another copy of the original Star Wars trilogy. As I sit here, hanging my head in shame, I can count the copies I've owned.

Let's see, first there was the VHS release, then the Laserdisc versions, then the "Special" Editions, then the even more "Special" editions on DVD (in a box set, no less), and now the individual 2-Disc "limited" editions that include the exact same transfers of the films that I once owned on laserdisc! They're being neglected by the technophiles at Lucasfilm (no new sound mixes...non-anamorphic) because they're basically being marketed as an extra feature (!!!) on the rerelease of the exact same "special" ed versions I bought in the box set. Is there a trend here? You betcha!

Somehow, George Lucas and his minions have figured out how to dupe me out of large chunks of my hard-earned cash by getting me to buy the same thing over and over again. Yes, I'll admit that it's my fault that I let him do it. I have an emotional addiction to these movies that I cannot defend, and Lucas is my crack dealer. And as such, he exploits my need over and over again in order to line his own pockets with gold. But does he have to exploit me so thoroughly?

Case in point: When the "Special" Ed boxed set of DVDs were released a short while back, Lucas was quoted as saying that the original versions of the films would NEVER be released on DVD. NEVER. When the original Star Wars was being re-released into theatres for the umpteenth time, Lucas was quoted as saying that the film would NEVER be seen on television or home video. NEVER. Now, I ask you, would you vote for this guy? What the hell is wrong with him? Did you actually SEE The Phantom Menace?!

I once saw a cartoon that basically postulated that George Lucas' ever-growing neck flab is actually a sentient being that's currently running the show at Lucas' *ahem* empire. But that's ridiculous, right? Lucas's neck! Give me a break. But then you think about it a bit. Hmmm.

When did George Lucas' neck start to grow? When his neck was smaller, he made Star Wars and Empire. His neck started growing and BAM, there's Jedi. Muppets were everywhere. He invented Ewoks. Ewoks! Coincidence? Maybe not.

The "writing" and production of Episode I matches precisely with the most overblown and wobbly period in Lucas' neck's history. All I have to say is Midichlorians. I rest my case. By the time he lost some of that flab he made Revenge of the Sith. Hell, if he managed to jazzercise away a few more pounds of neck goo, the proposed Star Wars TV series might just end up being better than The Empire Strikes Back!

Quick, somebody call up Richard Simmons and send him to Skywalker Ranch, stat!

-Tom

 

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The RIAA Took My Baby Away

LA Driving Tips

Comic Con Dreams

 

MR. TINGLETOES

 

When I first moved to LA, I kept a bit of a blog on this site to let my friends in on the things that were happening to me in Los Angeles. It was an effective tool, but I eventually let it wane into oblivion.

I decided I only had enough time to either live my life or write about it, so the writing fell by the wayside. Since then, I've missed having that little forum, so I created this page.

At its most basic, this page is just a place for me to let you in on the thoughts and events that are plaguing my everyday life in LA. It's also a way for me to get to know you better.

Back when I was writing my blog, readers would write to me from time to time. In the process of responding, they'd usually tell me a little bit about themselves and that was the fun part for me.

I liked having that contact. In fact, one of the biggest things I miss about running the Memphis show is meeting the people that made up our audience.

So, all of these words and pictures are here because I hope to inspire those of you who've bothered to read down this far to respond every now and then. Just say HI. Let me know how you're doing... and send me some of your old Halloween pics if you have the time.

-Tom