THE RIAA TOOK MY BABY AWAY

So, have you been sued by the RIAA yet? Chances are, you haven't, even if you're the most uploadin' downloadin' sideloadin' outlaw this side of the Pecos. That's because the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) is basically suing old people and children who don't know how to protect themselves online. So why is the RIAA targeting these everyday folks? To scare all of us str8...To raise the fists of fury over our psyches in hopes that it'll be enough to create a shadow of doubt in our minds the next time we fire up the latest BitTorrent client...To send us scurrying into the arms of Steve Job's I-tunes monarchy. Ahhh, the land of I.

The big question is, has it worked? Has the strong arm of the RIAA legal team made a difference? Or, even better, what if every time there were a technological advancement, the entrenched industries sued their customers to try and force them to remain customers?

For example, let's examine the powdered wig market (not to be confused with the powdered WHIG market). What if powdered wig makers used the same tactics when their product was sliding into oblivion?

Powdered wigs became very fashionable around 1715-1720, and ruled the fashion roost until 1800 or so. That's 85 years of industrial dominance, only a little shorter than the 100 year lifespan of recorded music in this country. Around 1795, young men took to powdering their own hair instead of buying powdered wigs, essentially undermining the wig industry!!! But wait! What if a high-powered legal team had stepped in? In 1795, you might have received a messenger-dispatched letter much like this:

Dear ___________,

We are counsel to a group of companies that intend to file a lawsuit against you shortly for copyright infringement. Our clients include the following wig companies and their labels and subsidiaries: Mssrs. Interscope, Atlantic, Motown, Electra, Sony, Arista, and the Brothers Warner. We have gathered substantial evidence that you have been using your own powder and have borrowed the powder of others to copy the style of our clients' latest wig fashions without actually purchasing their wigs. We are writing in advance of filing suit against you in the event that you have interest in resolving these claims through settlement.

The wig companies take copyright infringement very seriously, and for good reason. Copyright theft is not a victimless crime. People spend countless hours working hard to create wig designs - not just the designers themselves, but also hair vendors (horse and human), weavers, and even wig head manufacturers. In addition the wig industry employs thousands of other people such as wig store clerks, warehouse personnel, and developers of legitimate hair fashions. They all depend on the sale of wigs to earn a living. So do wig companies, which routinely invest millions of dollars to discover and sign promising wig artists, and then to produce and market their wigs. In addition, piracy eats away at the investment dollars available to fund new wigs and, in effect, erodes the future of hairstyles. That means that a creatively gifted, but commercially risky, wig designer may not get signed. A talented wig maker may be forced to make wig making a hobby instead of a career. In the end, the hairstyles suffer, along with everyone who cares about their appearance - from the people who make the wigs to the consumers who enjoy them.

Although we want you to appreciate the harm that piracy causes, the purpose of this notice is to provide you with the opportunity to resolve this matter and avoid being sued. In deciding whether you wish to discuss settlement, here are some things we believe you should consider:

-Making copyrighted wig designs available for others to emulate using powders and their own hair is copyright infringement under the Copyright Act, as is the unauthorized manufacture and distribution of said powders. Ignorance of the law is no defense. What that means is that it does not matter whether you knew it was illegal. Whether or not you intend to infringe does not matter. If you violate the wig companies' copyrights you will be held liable for damages as a result.

-The copyright Act imposes a range of statutory damages for copyright infringement. The minimum damages under the law is $750 for each copyrighted wig design that has been infringed ("shared"). If a court determines you acted "willfully", the maximum damage award can be even more. In addition to damages, you may also be responsible for paying the legal fees we incur in order to pursue their claims, and are subject to having an injunction entered against you prohibiting from further infringing activity.

-If you choose not to settle the case, you must file a response to the complaint within 20 days of being served. Failure to respond to the complaint can result in a default judgment being entered against you. That default will include the entry of a monetary judgment and an injunction.

-Now that you are aware that a lawsuit may be filed against you, there is an obligation for you to preserve evidence that relates to the claims against you. In this case, that means, at minimum, the entire library of wig designs that you have made available for distribution need to be maintained as evidence. The evidence necessary for the wig companies to prevail in this action has already been secured. Nevertheless, any destruction of evidence would be a serious matter.

If you have an interest in pursuing settlement discussions to avoid litigation or have other concerns you wold like to discuss, you or your attorney may contact us via town crier or messenger at 14 Hawthorne Street, Philadelphia, PA. If you are under 18, your attorney (or your parent or other guardian) must be present during any discussions. We will assume that you are not interested in settlement and proceed to litigation if we do not hear from you within ten (10) calendar days from the date of this letter.

We encourage you to consult with an attorney immediately to advise you on your rights and responsibilities, since we are obviously not your lawyers.

Sincerely,
Patricia B. Arnold
of
Mitchellson, Silberberger, and Pupp LLP

By the way, all of the text of this ridiculous message, except for the references to wigs and powder, comes straight from the letter the RIAA sends out to people it thinks it can blackmail into settling. I wonder if they'll sue me for satirizing the letter. We'll see.

-Tom

Click the link below for some good-ass info:

Electronic Frontier Foundation - How Not to Get Sued by the RIAA for File Sharing

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MR. TINGLETOES

 

When I first moved to LA, I kept a bit of a blog on this site to let my friends in on the things that were happening to me in Los Angeles. It was an effective tool, but I eventually let it wane into oblivion.

I decided I only had enough time to either live my life or write about it, so the writing fell by the wayside. Since then, I've missed having that little forum, so I created this page.

At its most basic, this page is just a place for me to let you in on the thoughts and events that are plaguing my everyday life in LA. It's also a way for me to get to know you better.

Back when I was writing my blog, readers would write to me from time to time. In the process of responding, they'd usually tell me a little bit about themselves and that was the fun part for me.

I liked having that contact. In fact, one of the biggest things I miss about running the Memphis show is meeting the people that made up our audience.

So, all of these words and pictures are here because I hope to inspire those of you who've bothered to read down this far to respond every now and then. Just say HI. Let me know how you're doing... and send me some of your old Halloween pics if you have the time.

-Tom